For a very long time I have been struggling with unforgiveness , specifically towards my ‘Father’. I blamed him for everything I went through as a child, teen and young adult. I blamed him for things he probably had no idea about i.e not having a car (lol). Even though I was trying to run away from him unknowingly I was actually holding on to him. I thought he owned me something. I didn’t know what it was but I just felt like he did.
I looked at other people’s relationships with their fathers and hated him even more. I hated him for not being their when I needed him. I hated him for not showing me what a man’s love should feel like. I made lots of excuses for why I couldn’t forgive him. Truth of the matter is I just didn’t want to. But thank God I have realized I can’t keep on feeling sorry for myself. Yes, he wasn’t there but I am fine. I have everything I need and more. I have a heavenly Father that loves me unconditionally, more than anyone else can ever love me. I have wonderful friends and family that love and support me.
I can’t keep on dwelling in the past. Unforgiveness is like a cancer that eats you up inside. But the thing is it doesn’t come alone, it comes with it’s friends : resentment, bitterness, anger, depression and loneliness. They all started to become comfortable in my heart and they stopped me being the person that God has called me to be…. FREE.
Furthermore, I can’t call myself a child of God if I can’t forgive my father. Yes, he made mistakes but who hasn’t. God has forgiven me for the things I have done, so who am I to say I can’t forgive my Father. That’s like a slap to God’s face.
But don’t get me wrong it’s not going to be smoothing sailing. Forgiveness is a journey .But it’s a journey everyone should be willing to take. I am willing to take this journey because I know my destination is way better than my starting point. I already feel so much better because I am allowing God to love me , carry me and lead me through this journey.
I’ve been set free, I’ve been set free
How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I’m found
Was blind but now I see♫
(p.s helpful tips on how to forgive will be coming soon)