I was one of those girls that was very eager to find love. I was looking for someone to love me at a young age. At the time it seemed like everyone had a boyfriend. I kept on seeing all these ‘bae goals’ on Instagram and I thought ‘chaii Baba God’ when will I have a boyfriend. So when a guy came up to me and asked me out I jumped at the opportunity like a rabbit (lol). I was so happy, I told everyone and their mamas. I finally found love.
After 3 months of going out with this guy, I started to see his true colors. He was an A-class liar and a real gangster off the street. He started being verbally and emotionally abusive. I was a bit surprised and confused ,I didn’t know where all of this was coming from. I was so eager to find love and I thought I had it, so I brushed it off and just stayed with him. Because you know the times we spent together was nice, he treated me well most of the time, meet my mom, called me every single day. This had to be love right?! Little did i knew I was just blinded by love. It wasn’t long before I started hearing things about him. Fighting , smoking , sex tapes , getting arrested and allegedly raping a girl. WHAT?! I didn’t want to believe it. I was scared to even ask him because I thought 1. He won’t pick up my phone call. 2. He was probably going to curse me for even asking. But surprisingly when I called him and he picked up. I asked him about everything I heard. He started shouting at me and calling me a liar (what I expected). I begged him to tell me the truth and he finally told me. You guessed it…. all the rumors were true, EVERYTHING. Wait this ain’t even the shocking bit what he said after was. He told me that the only reason why he told me is because he knows am not going to go anywhere anyways. Our relationship will only end on his terms.
I finally told my friends about the whole situation and my eyes were opened. I thought to myself wait hold on a minute mate….. my mama did not raise me to be this stupid, dumb and worthless. So I called him the next day and broke it off and blocked him nicely. I had a very very lucky escape. He knew where I lived but he never came looking for me tbh God just saved me. Looking back at this I guess I stayed longer than I should of because I thought he was going to change. Yeah optimism maybe healthy, but when it comes from a place of desperation or fear, it’s dangerous. If you find yourself constantly excusing your partner’s bad behavior, believing in change long after the person has expressed a lack of interest in changing, or wishing that someone else would come along and rescue you… it is definitely time to run away literally FLEE. Please ladies don’t be like me. Just wait and trust in God’s timing. He shall surely bring the right guy to you. I learnt how to wait patiently and eventually God brought a caring, loving and God fearing man to me. A man that just loves me for me.
God will bring the right person into your life at the right time.
Always believe that! If they are not there, God isn’t finished yet!
Shannon L. Alder
Stay blessed, Anonymous