So I have been asking God this question recently and I think I got the answer. So let’s take a trip down memory lane…
So four years ago around this time, I got accepted to go Essex University. But I didn’t want to go. My mind was set on Kent University. Because it was ranked higher and I knew people going there. But I eventually encouraged myself and went to Essex in October.
I overall enjoyed my first year, went to church here and there. I was just enjoying life. I was free to do what ever I wanted so I did. But in the middle of my second year, I experienced the accepting love of God during a retreat. Until this day I can’t use words to describe how I felt but something in me changed. That’s when I actually got snatched from the darkness to light. Don’t get me wrong before I knew a bit about God but had never really experienced him in such a way. After that day I was more intentional with my relationship with God. I actively prayed about my pornography issue, unforgiveness and rejection regularly. God was doing a work in my heart. Literally removing everything that wasn’t of him and molding me into what I should be.
My third year was a second chance to seek after him properly and to focus on my studies. During my third year, I shared my testimony about pornography at university and started my blog. That’s when I felt like I was starting to walk in my purpose. I realized I studied biomedical science to help people but science wasn’t the way God would use me to help others. It was going to start with me being obedient and sharing my testimony. Then he would reveal bits and pieces of my purpose to me in time.
Imagine if I went Kent University … I wouldn’t be the person I am now. I wouldn’t have started this blog. I probably would still be letting rejection rule my life. Still, be addicted to porn. Still feeling ashamed and condemned. I wouldn’t have the great friends I have now and I probably wouldn’t be in the amazing church that I am in now. It’s all mad if you think about it.
God taught me so much during my time in Essex. I can’t share everything because we would be here for hours (Lol). But I will say God taught me about being transparent. Something I am still learning to do because for a very long time I was used to holding everything in and just dealing with things myself. He taught me about forgiving myself and others. He taught me about friendship and trust. He taught me obedience is my purpose and after I do that, everything else will fall into place eventually. Last but not least he taught me that his plans for me are good and he will continue to perfect what’s concerning me if I allow him to. So yeah I didn’t go to university to get a science degree, I got way more. Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails (Proverbs 19:21)
But remember God has all the parts, our qualified mechanic
There’s no need to stress or panic
He has already paid the bill, so give him the wheel
And enjoy the ride