So we are in the month of February (January was so long). Valentine’s Day around the corner, shops filled with big red cards, heart shaped balloons and cute teddy bears. All the fuss about love got me reminiscing about all the times I thought I liked someone but I didn’t really. But there was one boy I really liked I thought I even loved him at some point and he wasn’t right…
When I say he wasn’t right well there were a lot of things. Some things I can’t even mention. But I can tell you he was indecisive. One day he would say he liked me then one day he would say we are not even friends. One day we could talk about anything and everything for hours and one day he would only reply just “K” to my messages. One day he would want to see me then the next he would be cancelling plans. One thing he was clear about is that he disagreed with waiting to have sex until marriage.
You may ask why I thought I loved this person and to be honest I really don’t know. Maybe because he was the first male that gave me proper attention or maybe because he seemed to like the things I disliked about myself. Looking back it wasn’t love. On his side it was lust and I was just looking for love.
If you are in a situationship ( or a complicated relationship) just get out. Literally run away like that man in Get Out (the movie) and don’t look back . There is a reason why there is so much uncertainty. You can’t make someone love you (trust me). I repeat you can’t make someone love you. You are only going to hurt yourself. It was hard to let him go but eventually I did. It was the best decision of my life. I ain’t going to lie… there was times I wanted to go back. When I was feeling lonely and bored. The funny thing is when I was entertaining this person, there were times he would make me upset (he was sometimes emotionally abusive)… and I would run to pornography. So clearly him being in my life wasn’t helping (Click here to read my pornography testimony) . I just had a unhealthy correction with him (SOUL TIE).
One of the things that really helped me to cut him out of my life was choosing not to remember. Choosing not to remember our long convos. Choosing not to remember the cute compliments and how they made me feel good about myself for a moment. But instead choosing to remember how bad he was for me and all the big red flags (I ignored sadly). Most importantly choosing to remember I am worth more… and so are you.
Choose to remember you are worth more
P.s I will probably write a blog post about soul ties and how to deal with them in the near future. Subscribe so you don’t miss out!